This is a conversation that I had with my boy, John.
John: Mama, I want a bug girl.
Me: A bug girl, what's that?
John: Mama, (said exasperatedly), a girl who likes bugs. (Like this was completely obvious)
Me: Oh, yeah?
John: Yes, Mama, and she is going to have long hair and flat hair.
So, he gave me a peek into my future daughter-in-law. She will be a long haired girl who loves bugs and probably laments her flat haired status! But, most of all, whether she will be entemologist like my boy or shriek at the sight of a bug, I pray that she will love my boy like I love his father. May she think he is as wonderful as I do and may they both love the Lord. I can't wait to meet her.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Such a good heart...
Today started like any other day yet today held a tiny treasure. I see the generosity of my son, John, everyday but somedays there are times when it really shows itself in a simple yet extraordinary way. John is starting to learn the concepts of money and we are starting to teach him to save and spend his money accordingly. This morning we were going to Shop Rite and I told John that he could take a quarter out of his piggy bank and buy himself a gumball. This is a treat to him and one that he was very excited about. Well, I stood there and watched him excitedly take his quarter out for his big transaction and then he did something amazing. He looked at me with his beautiful blue eyes and he said, "I have one quarter for my gumball, Mama." I thought that was that and then he said, "And I am taking another quarter so I can buy Hunter a gumball too because I love him. And I will take another quarter for a gumball for you, Mama" I thanked God for my beautiful little boy with teary eyes.
As a mother one of the many things that I have wanted to teach my children was to be selfless. As every mother wants, I want my children to place others above themselves and to share their good fortune. I want them to see the pain and the hurting of others and reach out with a heart of compassion. And I don't want to raise selfish, greedy men. They will one day be husbands to precious women. And, today, I saw the pure heart of my child. He didn't have much money in his piggy bank but what he did have, he wanted to share. What a beautiful little boy.
As a mother one of the many things that I have wanted to teach my children was to be selfless. As every mother wants, I want my children to place others above themselves and to share their good fortune. I want them to see the pain and the hurting of others and reach out with a heart of compassion. And I don't want to raise selfish, greedy men. They will one day be husbands to precious women. And, today, I saw the pure heart of my child. He didn't have much money in his piggy bank but what he did have, he wanted to share. What a beautiful little boy.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
HIS EYE WAS ON THIS SPARROW
God is a good God, God watched over His children, God is a loving God. These words I have told myself over and over again, I have told this to friends and my husband when they needed to be reminded but never have these words come alive to me as they have recently. These are words that I truly know to be true and believe with all my heart but there is something different when you walked a long and difficult journey and scratched and clawed to get to the top of a mountain and stood at the top and looked back and seen every step of that journey and know that you did not walk it alone. It's different when the words on that Bible completely and utterly come to life in front of you.
My life is changing and I just can't believe it. He is bringing things to pass that I never thought He would and you know what I learned? I can rest assured that we do not have a God that we can order around and ask things to come to pass and feel entitled for our prayers to be answered immediately. That He knows what is best because sometimes I think what is in front of me is the best thing for me but, wait, He's got something better down the road next month or next year. I am grateful that I have a God and a Best Friend who says "No" and "Yes" at precisely the right time. He is a good God, He does watch over His children and He is a God who loves. Thank you Jesus for all you have done.
My life is changing and I just can't believe it. He is bringing things to pass that I never thought He would and you know what I learned? I can rest assured that we do not have a God that we can order around and ask things to come to pass and feel entitled for our prayers to be answered immediately. That He knows what is best because sometimes I think what is in front of me is the best thing for me but, wait, He's got something better down the road next month or next year. I am grateful that I have a God and a Best Friend who says "No" and "Yes" at precisely the right time. He is a good God, He does watch over His children and He is a God who loves. Thank you Jesus for all you have done.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
The Building of Character
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. " James 1:2-4
My family has been going through a difficult time as of late dealing with a situation that I would really rather not be going through. But, I have learned in my walk with God that these trials are necessary to prepare me and equip me and develop a stronger walk with Him. So, just as I say no to my child when he is hungry because I am fighting for the greater good of a dinner well eaten, so I believe that God says no to me because He has my much greater good in mind. That can be a tough pill to swallow, but I long for more maturity and completion in my life. So, this is my lot. And I am going to sit through this storm and rejoice in the midst of it because this is a special time of year. This is when my Saviour was born with me in mind. What an opportunity to rejoice and celebrate in the midst of fear and anger. Thank you, Jesus, for never leaving me or forsaking me.
My family has been going through a difficult time as of late dealing with a situation that I would really rather not be going through. But, I have learned in my walk with God that these trials are necessary to prepare me and equip me and develop a stronger walk with Him. So, just as I say no to my child when he is hungry because I am fighting for the greater good of a dinner well eaten, so I believe that God says no to me because He has my much greater good in mind. That can be a tough pill to swallow, but I long for more maturity and completion in my life. So, this is my lot. And I am going to sit through this storm and rejoice in the midst of it because this is a special time of year. This is when my Saviour was born with me in mind. What an opportunity to rejoice and celebrate in the midst of fear and anger. Thank you, Jesus, for never leaving me or forsaking me.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Phew!
Well, I am happy to report that my Christmas shopping is just about done. Every year one of my New Year's Resolutions is to be done with my Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving or the first week of December. And, woefully, that resolution has never been realized until this year. Usually I am caught up in the commercialism of Christmas and feeling that I needed to buy more and more and more. But, this year, my perspective has changed. I have been so incredibly blessed this year and I feel like the holidays will reflect that. Sean and I are making plans and making lists and rewriting lists and having a lot of fun doing this together. We just can't wait to see the boys' faces open up their treasures and see what their parents have lovingly bought for them. We have a set budget this year and we won't have to open those credit cards bills in January and want to pull our hair out! I say a big "PHEW!!!" to that!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I am.....
1. terrified, scared out of my mind of heights
2. devoted to my husband and children
3. a huge Red Sox fan
4. a girl who knows sho loves and trusts God
5. usually cold so a sweater is always close by
6. someone who can see things from another's perspective
7. trying to be more forgiving
8. someone who loves to cook and bake
9. a voracious reader
10. a girl who talks too fast but am trying to slow down!
1. terrified, scared out of my mind of heights
2. devoted to my husband and children
3. a huge Red Sox fan
4. a girl who knows sho loves and trusts God
5. usually cold so a sweater is always close by
6. someone who can see things from another's perspective
7. trying to be more forgiving
8. someone who loves to cook and bake
9. a voracious reader
10. a girl who talks too fast but am trying to slow down!
Saying Goodbye
Recently I read the Randy Pausch book, The Last Lecture. It moved me and one part particularly stuck out to me. There was a part in the book when his wife said to him, "Please don't die". (It was a book about a man who knew he only had three - six months to live because of cancer). That part stayed with me and I thought and thought about it. Four years ago Sean and I each lost a parent within 26 days of each other. Needless to say, it was the hardest time of our lives and the deaths were starkly different. My father died of a massive heart attack and was dead within seconds. No chance for goodbyes, no time to tell him things I hadn't before, no opportunity to give or ask for forgiveness. No tearful last goodbyes. He was truly here one minute and gone the next. I will never forget Sean walking into work one day and giving me the dreadful news. All I know is that the last words we exchanged were "I love you" and isn't that truly the best words you could ever speak to someone the last time you spoke with them. But I would have thanked him for I always knew that I was loved and I would have thanked him for being a wonderful provider. On the other hand, Sean's mother died of lung cancer. She was in the hospital one week and in that week, she and Sean had soulful talks and cleared up a lot of past offenses and hurts. We were truly able to give her a proper goodbye.
I grew up in that difficult time and I have never been the same since. I have learned much from that situation. I hug my children tighter, I love deeper and appreciate the people in my life more, I prepare better for the future financially. I let things go more, I always remember to say "I love you", "I appreciate you" because I never really know if it will be the last time I will have that opportunity.
It's a hard thing that we walked through as a family but as with anything in life it taught us so much. So I really don't know if I would want to know if I was going to die or if my Sean was going to die, but I do know that I am given this moment and it truly is up to me how to spend it. So, I will be more careful with my words and use them wisely.
I grew up in that difficult time and I have never been the same since. I have learned much from that situation. I hug my children tighter, I love deeper and appreciate the people in my life more, I prepare better for the future financially. I let things go more, I always remember to say "I love you", "I appreciate you" because I never really know if it will be the last time I will have that opportunity.
It's a hard thing that we walked through as a family but as with anything in life it taught us so much. So I really don't know if I would want to know if I was going to die or if my Sean was going to die, but I do know that I am given this moment and it truly is up to me how to spend it. So, I will be more careful with my words and use them wisely.
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