I am.....

1. terrified, scared out of my mind of heights
2. devoted to my husband and children
3. a huge Red Sox fan
4. a girl who knows sho loves and trusts God
5. usually cold so a sweater is always close by
6. someone who can see things from another's perspective
7. trying to be more forgiving
8. someone who loves to cook and bake
9. a voracious reader
10. a girl who talks too fast but am trying to slow down!

Saying Goodbye

Recently I read the Randy Pausch book, The Last Lecture. It moved me and one part particularly stuck out to me. There was a part in the book when his wife said to him, "Please don't die". (It was a book about a man who knew he only had three - six months to live because of cancer). That part stayed with me and I thought and thought about it. Four years ago Sean and I each lost a parent within 26 days of each other. Needless to say, it was the hardest time of our lives and the deaths were starkly different. My father died of a massive heart attack and was dead within seconds. No chance for goodbyes, no time to tell him things I hadn't before, no opportunity to give or ask for forgiveness. No tearful last goodbyes. He was truly here one minute and gone the next. I will never forget Sean walking into work one day and giving me the dreadful news. All I know is that the last words we exchanged were "I love you" and isn't that truly the best words you could ever speak to someone the last time you spoke with them. But I would have thanked him for I always knew that I was loved and I would have thanked him for being a wonderful provider. On the other hand, Sean's mother died of lung cancer. She was in the hospital one week and in that week, she and Sean had soulful talks and cleared up a lot of past offenses and hurts. We were truly able to give her a proper goodbye.

I grew up in that difficult time and I have never been the same since. I have learned much from that situation. I hug my children tighter, I love deeper and appreciate the people in my life more, I prepare better for the future financially. I let things go more, I always remember to say "I love you", "I appreciate you" because I never really know if it will be the last time I will have that opportunity.

It's a hard thing that we walked through as a family but as with anything in life it taught us so much. So I really don't know if I would want to know if I was going to die or if my Sean was going to die, but I do know that I am given this moment and it truly is up to me how to spend it. So, I will be more careful with my words and use them wisely.

Somebody's always watching me.....

Recently I have been on an organizing kick. The closer I get to 40 (yikes!) I realize that I don't need so much stuff. It has been liberating to throw stuff away, donate items and sell stuff that is unnecessary. And one of the first places that I chose to start is my computer files and pictures. I would have one copy of a picture on my computer and I would have three hard copies of the same picture! It was ridiculous. Anywho, as I was undertaking this clean sweep, I had the opportunity to take a trip down memory lane. I saw pictures I hadn't seen in a long time - ones when Sean asked me to marry him, the picture where John was holding Sean's finger right after he was born and pictures of our sweet Hunter.

And when I want to capture pictures of the kids' childhood, I am always looking for pictures of the boys together. One of my biggest dreams for their lives is that they will be best friends when they grow up and they are hopefully on their way to doing that. As I looked at the hundreds of pictures I had, I noticed a trend appearing. In almost every one of the pictures, Hunter is looking at John. I didn't intend to capture that when I took the pictures, but I notice that Hunter does look to John a lot. He thinks John hung the moon, he thinks John is the funniest person in the world and he copies what he does constantly. I think if Hunter could form a complete sentence it would be, "John is the coolest!" Sometimes, I think Hunter is thinking, 'Child, what are you doing?" when John is being his crazy self but I think he is always a little in awe of him. I am so glad that the boys have each other and the amazing love they share.

Turkey Recipe

I love finding new recipes. I especially love the ones that are delicious and easy to follow and understand. I had read about this interesting turkey recipe from Tricia Yearwood (a country singer who I like) and thought I would give it a try. It is unconventional to say the least and I just had to buy a test turkey and try it out before Thanksgiving. And, I am so happy that I did! When Sean tasted it he said, "This is the best turkey I have ever had and one of the best meals you have ever made me." After 15 years, that spoke volumes to me! Here goes:

NO BASTE, NO-BOTHER ROASTED TURKEY

1 12 pound turkey, completely thawed, giblets removed

1/2 cup (1 stick) salted butter, softened

2 tablespoons salt

2 teaspoons pepper

2 stalks celery, cut in lengths to fit turkey cavity

1 medium sweet onion, such as vidalia, cut in half

1 large carrot

2 cups boiling water

Adjust the oven racks so the covered roasting pan fits easily inside the oven. Preheat the oven to 500 degrees.

Rub the turkey on the outside and in the cavity of the turkey. A self-basting turkey will not require all of the butter. Sprinkle the salt and pepper on the inside and outside of the turkey. Put the celery, onion and carrot in the cavity. Place the turkey, breast side up, in a large roasting pan. Pour the boiling water into the pan. Cover with a tight-fitting lid and put the pan in the preheated oven.

Start a timer when the oven temperature returns to 500 degrees. Bake for exactly 1 hour and turn off the oven. Do not open the oven door. Leave the turkey in the oven until the oven cools; this may take 4 to 6 hours. Reserve the pan juices and refrigerate the turkey if it will not be served soon after roasting.

It's beginning to look a lot like fall

Here are the stairs walking up to my home. They are adorned with one of my favorite flowers and one of my favorite parts of fall, my mums. It just wouldn't be fall without them. The one at the top of the stairs is my beautiful orange one with yellow tips that I bought and the gorgeous yellow one was purchased for me by my husband. That is a big deal because he is of the practical sort who feels that flowers are "frou frouy". So, on the rare occasion when he splurges on me, I really appreciate it.

I truly love fall and I wait every summer for the respite that it brings from the heat and humidity of this area. I love the crunch of the leaves beneath my feet, the feel of a warm sweatshirt around me and the beautiful colors, painted by the most wonderful Artist. I like that when I go outside to play with my kids, there is a crispness and coolness to the air. I get cranky when it's hot!!!

And I love that every time I climb those stairs to go home, my beautiful mums await me.

Teamwork.....

Anyone who knows me for longer than five minutes knows that I am a huge Red Sox fan and we are well on our way to winning our 3rd World Series title in five years. The other night as we won our first series of games, I realized what I really love about the sport of baseball. It is truly a game of teamwork. Yes, there will always be the superstars who hit big bombs of home runs that can turn the game around on a dime but many times it's the quiet heroes who make the simple plays that wins the game. It's the guy who picks up the ball when another player may have missed it that gets the runner out. It's the catcher who tells the pitcher which pitch to throw. It's the manager who encourages the player whether he has just struck out or got that needed hit. It's the coach who sits in the batting cage in the heat that watches the same swing a hundred times. It's the teamwork. Isn't that just like with a family? Many times John gets Hunter's shoes for me when we are in a rush to get to an appointment on time. Many times over dinner Sean will say, "Would you like me to give the boys a bath?" There are a thousand ways that we work together to get through this thing called life. As I sit down to catch my breath while I listen to my boys play in the tub, I am thankful that I have people who pick up that missed ball for me........

So, there are 8 victories, 216 outs and two very good baseball teams to beat. Go Sox!!!!!

The Tigger and Eeyore in me

Recently Sean and I have been facing a financial trial brought on by someone else. It has been very disheartening and I have been thinking a lot about it recently. You see, we watch a lot of Winnie The Pooh in our house and I admit I really enjoy watching them. Who wouldn't love to live in the Hundred Acre Wood and play all day and visit friends? But, I must admit the one character I cannot stand is Eeyore. He is just so negative and miserable and I just want to shake him until his little tail falls off! I feel this way because I really do see things mostly with a positive perspective. Life is hard, but beautiful and if you can just keep searching, the blessings always follow whatever hardship may come into your life. And if I were to compare my personality with any of these characters, I would most identify with Tigger even though sometimes my appetite rivals that of Pooh's!

So, that brings me back to this situation. I find that I have been looking at this with an Eeyore mindset and forgetting about my usual sunnier disposition. I am grateful for quiet times when I can remember that I have a Friend who walks beside me and "never leaves me nor forsakes me." He knows this situation and will bring the good out of it for us. I am thankful for that.