I have two sons. They are spectacular works of art and I would gladly lay down in front of a train or walk a hundred miles for one of their smiles. But, they are polar opposites of each other. John is patient, Hunter is impatient, John is other-minded while Hunter is completely Hunter-minded and John is so easy-going and Hunter is prone to fits. And what fits he throws. Screams at the top of his lungs, usually either bangs his head or stomps his feet - whichever way the wind is blowing that day.
These temper tantrums are a mystery to me and not a part of John's childhood at all. I have learned to lovingly accept who he is while trying to remain patient and guide him out of this stage that he is in. You see, Hunter is also the child who will wink at you, will give you smiles that will leave many a trail of broken hearts in his path one day, will try to take his Daddy's shoes off after a hard day of work and will kiss any boo boo you may have. But these fits come easily to him and today was no exception.
He was rubbing his eyes this morning and I should have known better. But, the weather was warm and John only has so many days off before school. Anyway, we went to the beach and he threw two fits while we were there. And both times I had mothers (I.E. PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THIS BOAT WITH ME - WHO HAVE WALKED THE LONELY FRUSTRATING EXASPERATING WONDERFUL AMAZING JOURNEY WE CALL MOTHERHOOD) give me those judgmental looks that I was so ready to give BEFORE I had children. One woman actually wanted to put her stuff down on the exact same spot where he was laying on earlier said ground. That brought on the "come on, woman, control your children better look." Come on, she couldn't move over five inches? She couldn't give me a look of compassion, she couldn't remember when her perfect little teenager next to her was uncontrollable, she couldn't keep her judgements and opinions to herself and realize that I am trying the very best I can? That I am trying to love these children and teach them about this big old world? Today I made a resolve that the next time I see a mother struggle, I'm going to offer her a hand instead of a millstone, I'm going to pray that God gives her the strength to get to that naptime, that she would realize these days truly do last but a second..I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
And, gosh, you should meet Hunter. He would knock your socks off - he is so special.
These temper tantrums are a mystery to me and not a part of John's childhood at all. I have learned to lovingly accept who he is while trying to remain patient and guide him out of this stage that he is in. You see, Hunter is also the child who will wink at you, will give you smiles that will leave many a trail of broken hearts in his path one day, will try to take his Daddy's shoes off after a hard day of work and will kiss any boo boo you may have. But these fits come easily to him and today was no exception.
He was rubbing his eyes this morning and I should have known better. But, the weather was warm and John only has so many days off before school. Anyway, we went to the beach and he threw two fits while we were there. And both times I had mothers (I.E. PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THIS BOAT WITH ME - WHO HAVE WALKED THE LONELY FRUSTRATING EXASPERATING WONDERFUL AMAZING JOURNEY WE CALL MOTHERHOOD) give me those judgmental looks that I was so ready to give BEFORE I had children. One woman actually wanted to put her stuff down on the exact same spot where he was laying on earlier said ground. That brought on the "come on, woman, control your children better look." Come on, she couldn't move over five inches? She couldn't give me a look of compassion, she couldn't remember when her perfect little teenager next to her was uncontrollable, she couldn't keep her judgements and opinions to herself and realize that I am trying the very best I can? That I am trying to love these children and teach them about this big old world? Today I made a resolve that the next time I see a mother struggle, I'm going to offer her a hand instead of a millstone, I'm going to pray that God gives her the strength to get to that naptime, that she would realize these days truly do last but a second..I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt.
And, gosh, you should meet Hunter. He would knock your socks off - he is so special.
3 comments:
The love you have for your boys shines through your words so well!
I'm sorry that you got "the evil mommy look" from those ladies. But thank you for the reminder on how important compassion is!
What a great post! I needed this reminder. I have been guilty of delivering that "look" to other moms no matter how much I crave compassion from others for my own shortcomings.
Thanks for sharing and tenderizing my heart!
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