There's a time for us..

I am happy to report that I have survived the first three days of school! I have successfully not fallen apart, packed satisfying lunches and snacks and managed to get John on and off the school bus for three whole days, with many more to come. He is flourishing and comes home so tired.



And the one thing I have really enjoyed through this is the special time I get with just Hunter. As wonderful as it has been to have days filled with two boys' laughter and ruckuses, the quiet time with just one has been very welcome. And I have noticed that I am able to curb these meltdowns that he has been having. The other day I asked Hunter if he would like to go to the playground and he readily said, "yes". (We have to drive to said playground.) I gathered up my purse and my keys and we were off. But, there was one glitch in the master plan. I had forgotten to take some magazines out to the end of the driveway to recycle them. So, I grabbed that cutie's hand and we walked down the driveway. When I tried to walk back down the driveway to get the car, Hunter completely fell apart. Just threw himself down and pitched a classic fit. He was yelling, "Mama, go!" at the top of his lungs. I realized that he thought we weren't going. He thought we were on our way and somehow I was backing out and robbing him of his fun. Because I was much calmer and determined to start this new adventure off on the right foot, I patiently bent down, looked him in the eye and said to him, "Hunter, we have to drive to the playground, now walk. We need to get in the car." He looked right at me, stopped crying and said, "Oh!" Then ran down the driveway to the car. Now, normally I would have screamed at him and lost my patience and we would have tangled. But t is true that a "word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver." (Proverbs 25:11)

God does know a thing of two about seasons and I am going to embrace this one!

My Boys..

Can they be any cuter?

I've pretty much had enough

I have two sons. They are spectacular works of art and I would gladly lay down in front of a train or walk a hundred miles for one of their smiles. But, they are polar opposites of each other. John is patient, Hunter is impatient, John is other-minded while Hunter is completely Hunter-minded and John is so easy-going and Hunter is prone to fits. And what fits he throws. Screams at the top of his lungs, usually either bangs his head or stomps his feet - whichever way the wind is blowing that day.

These temper tantrums are a mystery to me and not a part of John's childhood at all. I have learned to lovingly accept who he is while trying to remain patient and guide him out of this stage that he is in. You see, Hunter is also the child who will wink at you, will give you smiles that will leave many a trail of broken hearts in his path one day, will try to take his Daddy's shoes off after a hard day of work and will kiss any boo boo you may have. But these fits come easily to him and today was no exception.

He was rubbing his eyes this morning and I should have known better. But, the weather was warm and John only has so many days off before school. Anyway, we went to the beach and he threw two fits while we were there. And both times I had mothers (I.E. PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THIS BOAT WITH ME - WHO HAVE WALKED THE LONELY FRUSTRATING EXASPERATING WONDERFUL AMAZING JOURNEY WE CALL MOTHERHOOD) give me those judgmental looks that I was so ready to give BEFORE I had children. One woman actually wanted to put her stuff down on the exact same spot where he was laying on earlier said ground. That brought on the "come on, woman, control your children better look." Come on, she couldn't move over five inches? She couldn't give me a look of compassion, she couldn't remember when her perfect little teenager next to her was uncontrollable, she couldn't keep her judgements and opinions to herself and realize that I am trying the very best I can? That I am trying to love these children and teach them about this big old world? Today I made a resolve that the next time I see a mother struggle, I'm going to offer her a hand instead of a millstone, I'm going to pray that God gives her the strength to get to that naptime, that she would realize these days truly do last but a second..I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt.

And, gosh, you should meet Hunter. He would knock your socks off - he is so special.

It's almost here..

I have exactly 12 days to go before my boy gets on that school bus and starts a brand new chapter of his little life. One that he is so excited about. I asked him the other day, "John John, are you afraid at all about starting school?" And he said in that inimitable way, "No." Like I was kind of foolish to even think for one second he would be afraid. He even cheered when I told him he wouldn't have to go to Shop Rite anymore with me and Hunter.

So, I have decided to take on John's attitude. When I think about him leaving and being gone all day, I will be happy. I will be filled with joy because he is starting such a grand adventure. Sure, kids will be mean and they all won't realize that he is one of God's GREATEST creations, and there will be crushes that will leave his heart broken, there will be friends who will treat him bad some days, but there will also be his burgeoning first steps into the world. And he will be loved every step of the way...

So, when I see that first e-mail inviting me to the first PTO meeting of the year, I will pick out a cute outfit and try to represent my boy well and do him proud! Because he has always made me proud......

No Fear..

Why do I let fear rule my life? It is ridiculous how many times I hear myself tell Sean or a friend how afraid I am of something! And then if someone shows concern for me or they have doubt in me it makes me angry. Well, why wouldn't someone doubt me if all they have heard from my mouth is fear.

Take my life recently. I live in a beach town. I live in a town where I only have to drive three miles to an absolutely beautiful beach and I had never been there until today. I was so afraid of taking the kids there that I stayed away. I was afraid of them drowning, I was afraid that they would die in that water and they would do it on my watch, that they would be so rambunctious and lively that I would not be able to control them without Sean's help. I worried about them getting too much sun and then worried it was going to rain. My goodness. They were amazing. John plunked himself down and dug in the dirt and Hunter ran along the shoreline and chased after birds.

I don't want my children to grow up into fearful wimpy men but rather men who take life by the reins and if I am an example to them, then I need to show them. I am taking a trip in October and I have to get on a plane. The thought doesn't scare me, doesn't terrify or even petrify me, I feel almost PARALYZED with fear. But, no more. I actually love my friend more than getting on that plane terrifies me. Thank God.

And this afternoon I am going to attempt to make spaghetti sauce. You see, I didn't make that either because I was afraid that it wouldn't come out right. You know what? What if it doesn't? I don't think Sean will leave me or stop loving me, I don't think the kids will strike, and I'm pretty sure the sky won't come falling down...And now that I have conquered the beach, I think I'll go heat up the stove.......