Overwhelming

This whole process has been overwhelming to me. Three days ago I didn't have any heat or hot water downstairs. I was beyond, beyond. It just felt like one more thing for me to deal with and I had no one to lean on, not in the way you can lean on a husband. Everybody is somebody else's husband. But, I had come to the point that if people are going to offer and look me deep in the eyes and say, "If you need anything, call us" then I am going to take you up on that. My neighbor was home. Matt is his name. We exchange pleasantries at the end of the driveway but that's it. Thank God it's nearing winter and he's a commercial fisherman. Well, I called him and cried. There is no more pride left. There is no more pretense. The exact moment that I called him, he was on the phone with his brother who is a plumber. I left him a message and literally within four minutes he was here. And you know that funniest thing? I desperately needed a hug. And I needed to feel someone strong hug me. He walked in my door and hugged me. I had told his wife about Sean and he expressed his sorrow over Sean's condition.

He lost his Dad last summer and he is still feeling the effects of it. It is amazing how much the Lord is carrying me through and how lost I imagine the world feels when they are dealing with death. My neighbor is struggling to the point that we talked about his Dad and he cried. He is a big strong man and he cried. I'll tell you a little secret. One of the most favorite things that Sean does is he kisses my head when he hugs me. We talked and I tried to share some encouragement with him and he bid me goodbye. But he did one thing first, he hugged me again and he kissed the side of my head. It felt like a holy moment. God's Word in Isaiah says, "I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." (Is. 46:4) God knew exactly what I needed at exactly the moment I needed it.

See, sometimes it isn't always in the big things or grand gestures that God's love is the most visible, it's in a Monday afternoon when you are pulling your hair out and you feel lost in a big ole world. It's not sometimes when your world is ending, it's just when your furnace doesn't work and you call on someone and they are right there when you need them most.