Today I am feeling discouraged. I set a goal for myself this month that I would exercise every day and that I would drink less soda. I haven't really done either one. Soda is really the root of all evil in my world. It's the one thing that I just love to consume. The thing that gives me the most comfort in the food arena. It's truly like a drug for me. There's this blog that I've been following and this girl is doing great. She's lost 47 pounds since January of this year and she's done it all with Weight Watchers and discipline. That's something that I sorely lack. Every day I half want to stand up and cheer for her and punch her in the nose at the same time because she is doing something I can't. (kidding...)
I do great for about a week and then I fall off the wagon so far I can barely see it! I pay for Weight Watchers every month and don't use it. I just bought 4 more 12-packs of Pepsi this morning (on sale at least). I have a treadmill that I've been using spotty at best.
And now we're moving and it's all on me. And to me it just feels like another excuse. I know, I know. I've lost Sean. I need time to take time to heal from that and mourn. I just feel myself on a slippery slope that I need to get off of. I just found a Scripture that I love - "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed." 1 Peter 1:13
This weight for me is not just this weight. It's something much deeper. It's years of being self-indulgent. And it's something that I absolutely have to get a hold of.