Friday, November 18, 2011

Today I am feeling discouraged.  I set a goal for myself this month that I would exercise every day and that I would drink less soda.  I haven't really done either one.  Soda is really the root of all evil in my world.  It's the one thing that I just love to consume.  The thing that gives me the most comfort in the food arena.  It's truly like a drug for me.  There's this blog that I've been following and this girl is doing great.  She's lost 47 pounds since January of this year and she's done it all with Weight Watchers and discipline.  That's something that I sorely lack.  Every day I half want to stand up and cheer for her and punch her in the nose at the same time because she is doing something I can't.  (kidding...)  

I do great for about a week and then I fall off the wagon so far I can barely see it!  I pay for Weight Watchers every month and don't use it.  I just bought 4 more 12-packs of Pepsi this morning (on sale at least).  I have a treadmill that I've been using spotty at best.   

And now we're moving and it's all on me.   And to me it just feels like another excuse.  I know, I know.  I've lost Sean.  I need time to take time to heal from that and mourn.  I just feel myself on a slippery slope that I need to get off of.  I just found a Scripture that I love - "Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed."  1 Peter 1:13

This weight for me is not just this weight.  It's something much deeper.  It's years of being self-indulgent.  And it's something that I absolutely have to get a hold of.


Kathy said...

oh girlfriend I am right there with ya! I have climbed up onto and then fallen off that wagon more times than I can count - usually just about every Monday I'm on the wagon again and by Friday night I'm on the ground! hahaha .... I definitely lack in the self control area, BIG TIME! Maybe come the new year we could make a little pact with each other and try to help and encourage each other? I'm tired of seeing others have success and wallowing in self pity that I can't have success when I know deep down it's just my own lack of self control that does it every time! =)

Jennifer said...

I would love that! I have the hardest time saying no to myself and would really like a pact! :)