I truly do believe that learning to say "no" is an art form. I have always been able to say no to early afternoon snacks that would ruin dinners, to little boys climbing on dressers, but really saying no to someone is not something that I have learned. But, I am determined to try. And today was my first step in that process.
Two years ago, I left a church that I thought I would be serving in until I died. I gave my heart, my sweat and my tears to that church and the ministry that went on there. And if you needed something, I was the girl to call. I was the secretary, treasurer, member of leadership, nursery school worker, so on and so on... I am not telling you this to pat myself on the back but rather to share that boundaries weren't real easy for me.
But, we left. Rather God called us out of that church and His timing couldn't have been more perfect because the two most beautiful crawled into my life and their needs were paramount. With the departure came a sigh, a huge break for me and a time for God to take care of me. And I wanted so badly to impress Him and people, that I kind of lost my way.
I'm going to be forty in 19 months (but who's counting) and I think it's time I grew up, darn it. So, today I was invited to a little get together with the ladies from my small group Wednesday morning Bible Study. And I really wanted to go. These are really nice, fun women. But, it was right during Hunter's nap. I mean, smack dab in the middle of his nap. So, I did what I always do. I prayed, I talked about it with Sean and thought about it, ad nauseum. Do you remember that old song, "Should I stay or should I go now?"
It is always in the small day to day mundaneness of life that God shows up big time and He teaches me a huge lesson in it all. And, today, I said "No, I'm sorry, that is right during Hunter's nap and I can't go." So, as I write this, I have a little cherub blissfully sleeping in his bed instead of being rushed around and exhausted today. It may sound small to some people but to me that was a huge step because I was putting the needs of my family before someone else. I cared less about what people thought of me. Yeah..